Bernini's Medusa at the San Francisco Legion of Honor
I can’t tell from Medusa’s expression whether she’s worried about those snakes or about what people will think of her hairdo.
If I had snakes for hair I would feel powerful not worried
On the recommendation of a commenter on Lisa’s thoughtful post Towards A Broad Definition of “One of Us” I got busy reading Class: A Guide Through the American Status System (1983) by Paul Fussell, which although hilarious and I believe more accurate than not, is neither kind nor politically correct. There’s something in it to offend everyone. In the Atlantic article Class Dismissed, Sandra Tsing Loh refers to Fussell’s book as a “naughty treat.” Don’t drink milk while reading it or you will snort it out of your nose.
matching pink -- I get it!
You can read a quick review with a list of Fussell’s different class levels here. Basically he groups everyone into Uppers, Middles and Proles (Proletariats), sometimes calling out subgroups of each when there are distinctions worth noting.
Martin said "here comes the yacht club" -- must have been the hat, a dead giveaway
Fussell’s guide helped me see that I embrace multiple American classes, having started out in one of the lower middle if not working class levels and tried over many years to raise my socioeconomic status. My story may be unusual, but I doubt I am alone in treating the US status system as a smorgasbord of cultural delights one may sample at will.
Houndstooth and plaid -- pattern mixing, I get it!
I feel free to sample because I see myself as standing outside of the system, not a member of any particular class or tribe. Fussell groups outsiders like me into a new category he calls Category X. This is how Fussell views the sartorial practices of Category X people:
When an X person, male or female, meets a member of an identifiable class, the costume, no matter what it is, conveys the message “I am freer and less terrified than you are.”
This excerpt is a good example of some of the inconsistencies in Fussell’s analysis. As written it sounds as if all the classes take this message from Category X dress but he’s really referring to how Middles react to Category X dress because he sees Middles as having the most social anxiety.
is it cool to mix a designer bag and sneakers?
Here’s Fussell again:
“One who makes birth or wealth the sole criterion of worth”: that’s a conventional dictionary definition of a snob, and the place to look for the snob is in the middle class. Worried a lot about their own taste and about whether it’s working for or against them, members of the middle class try to arrest their natural tendency to sink downward by associating themselves, if ever so tenuously, with the imagined possessors of money, power, and taste. “Correctness” and doing the right thing become obsessions, prompting middle-class people to write thank-you notes after the most ordinary dinner parties, give excessively expensive presents, and never allude to any place–Fort Smith, Arkansas, for example–that lacks known class.
A little later on that same page he says:
The desire to belong, and to belong by some mechanical act like purchasing something, is another sign of the middle class.
I recognize myself in some of this.
I thought this guy with the messenger bag looked kind of stylish
And these two ladies -- love that blue coat. Notice the variety of bags.
this woman looked beautiful to me but I worried she'd fall down in those heels
the man in the background looked elegant, the woman in the foreground gorgeous
I love this guy's coat
hijabs are stylish too
ice skating never goes out of style
you can buy it here
or at williams sonoma
If I recognize myself as having some of the Middle anxieties Fussell describes, it must mean I’m not entirely outside of the Middle tribe. I’m not fully Category X because I want to belong, to participate in the social construct of fashion.
scanning the SFMOMA cafe, the woman at the far right looked most stylish to me
And yet, as I hone in on my style uniform, purchase pieces and accessories to go with it, I wonder whether I’m falling for the same thing Timothy Parent of chinesepeoplehave[no]style? writes about Chinese people falling for in terms of conspicuously consuming for status recognition.
I was so excited about this woman's bolero jacket! Isn't it beautiful?
I asked Timothy if I could read his Harvard thesis on a theory of fashion and China’s unique fashion history in advance of the book he’s writing based on it. I feel honored and privileged that he gave it to me to read as he doesn’t give it out to anyone, but he liked my Fashion Theory post and after emailing back and forth, exchanging ideas, he decided to trust me to keep it confidential. His thesis is summarized here, but the gist of it, from my perspective, is that whereas China was historically on track developing its own uniquely Chinese fashion construct, it suffered major setbacks due to Western imperialism, Mao’s Cultural Revolution and the influence of Western fashion brands. Timothy sees Western brands influencing conspicuous consumption in the short term, but longer term, as Chinese designers gain influence and Chinese people become more selective, less imitative, a unique Chinese style will emerge.
Looking at Frida Kahlo, Frida looking back.
Am I still in the “imitative” stage in my own style quest, approaching it with some intention but not, at least not yet, the sensibility of one developing a strong personal aesthetic? Or am I approaching it with the sensibility of a Neanderthal, aping fashion aficionados in buying/wearing what they and their taste arbiters say is cool and classic?
I hope the former.
In other news, I bought a dream bag! Can’t wait to show you and share the whole whimsical story of how it happened!
I will also continue the home tour next post.
Sorry to crunch so much into my posts. I was going to put a smiley face at the end of that sentence, but that’s way too middle class.
xoxo -Susan
P.S. I think xoxo is also Middle, but never mind :).
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
I love people watching with you! It’s late, but I hope to get back to follow your links.
Lisa, I’m exhausted myself, we’re off to bed.
Very interesting ideas in that book—I love what you’ve highlighted.
I love Fussell’s language–that “less terrified” bit is hysterically funny to me.
I wonder how self-awareness (or self-consciousness) factors in. I teach at a fine arts school, and it is such a fun environment for people-watching (everyone is experimenting with how they look, or has a very specific and constructed look—such fun clothes and colors and shapes! Lots of risk-taking!). So environment is another layer to consider…?
Hannah, that makes a lot of sense that sartorial artistry is elevated in an environment supportive of artists!
I must track down Fussell’s book as it sounds very pertinent to my project this year. While I was raised in a solidly middle-class family, my years of being a single parent imposed a more working-class sensibility on me. I did without for so long…that I want nice things, but I have a terrible time now letting loose of the money. I guess the amount I spent last year thrifting is a way of slowly ramping up. I also think that people who have been poor look for ways to somehow express that they know better. I’ve observed this when we go out for lunch on Sunday. I’ll see families eating in a not-particularly fancy place dressed in their Sunday finery. Oddly, my father taught me that wealthy people do NOT flaunt their wealth. When I see people in too much glitter and flash, I automatically think aspirational.
I want to SEE your purse and hear the story. I’m stalking a Hermes scarf…something I didn’t think I was going to spring for until December.
Terri, I know exactly what you mean by aspirational, and the scene of the family dressed in finery at a non-fancy restaurant is similar I think to the one of the woman carrying a designer bag yet wearing sneakers. What is the point of carrying a high-end bag in that case? Just to display that one has one? It can’t really be about completing an ensemble.
I can’t wait for my bag to get here!
I remember that book when it came out only in that it was not a book that grabbed my interest. It still doesn’t. Don’t know why I have such a lack of interest in this class thing, but there it it.
Growing up I had the benefit of observing first-hand all three classes. At first I lived the lower, poorer one. Then we moved to a wealthy town where we were middle class and my first friend was a wealthy senator’s daughter. One thing I liked about those old money people was their disdain for buying new things, new clothes and their preference for appearance simplicity. Guess that’s one thing I pinched from them.
With that new camera, looks like you’re becoming the toast of the San Francisco Paparazzi!
Fussell would say that lack of interest in the US class system is a sign of Category X. I’m an X myself, but decided to deliberately participate in the fashion construct, to see what I would learn and how the experience would change me. I have learned a lot and do feel the experience has changed me, in some ways profoundly. It has lightened my step, brightened my spirits, and provided a daily line of direction and engagement that makes me feel about ten years younger.
No, I’m not a paparazzi because I just photograph regular people, not famous ones. I’m a wanna be stealth street photographer.
Thank you for visiting and commenting despite not being interested in class!
This is hysterical. You handle an awkward topic with honesty and humor.
I found myself liberated from class anxiety, consumer pressure and false desires as soon as I cut out magazines and media in general. I was free to wait for a want to occur to me naturally. And low and behold I want a whole lot less!!!
So I think a great deal of class-related stress is external. One does not simply wake up, as a middle class, or whatever class, and have inherent feelings and responses to things based on their class group. We are given signals from society, typically via media, which shape our choices, our perception of ourselves, and how we are supposed to judge others. I prefer to stop all those messages from coming in in the first place. Screw ‘em. They are false.
I think your approach is an excellent one, however, I don’t think it would work for me because you really know what you’re doing and I don’t. It remains to be seen whether I have any style sense at all or am as clueless as Hillary Clinton seems to be (actually, sometimes she looks great), my only hope being that of learning to intelligently follow some basic guidelines and keep it simple.
Yes, the whole idea of class as a social construct is externally imposed. We learn its mores and nuances growing up, primarily from the individuals in our families, schools, and social groups. By the time we’re adolescents, a lot of the “messages” about status and fitting have already been deeply internalized.
I love the idea of stopping the messages, and yet I think we’re more social creatures than we want to admit. We need each other, need to understand how we are socially organized and to what purpose. In your own style quest you have made judgements about style or lack thereof on the part of others. It’s only natural to make judgements. I bet if you dug deeper in terms of exploring the values that inform your judgements you would recognize those values as being from one or more of the US classes. Or maybe not. I don’t claim to understand how all of us form our values, just think class has something to do with it.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
Hmmm, first I laughed when I read your self-assessment, but then I thought, hmmm. According to whom do you not know what you are doing? What is the measure of knowing what we are doing? Why do (or who says) I know what I am doing? If self-satisfaction equals success, how do you know your dissatisfaction is shaped by you? As far as I can tell, my style now amounts to wearing exactly what I would have loved to wear when I was 6-9 years old. I’ve gone back to myself, frankly, after years of drift.
Funny thing about what we learn from family though – we cannot control what we are shown, but how we process that information absolutely does vary from person to person. My sister and I grew up in the same house with the same parents and same neighbors and identical media exposure until college, when it was more individualized. She now lives in a big house in a suburb, and would like a bigger house. She likes brands and has a lot of clothes. I live in a very small apartment, in a highly unconventional arrangement (1 bedroom, 3 people), and save my money for travel. I like anonymous fashion and have a trim wardrobe. Our definitions of success are very different. Our values are extremely different. We come from the same socio-economic “class”.
I agree, I am certainly more social than I would care to admit.
And I think understanding want we want, why we want, and why we want what we want would offer critical insight into our social life, its purpose, our roles, and if there is some other way to function, socially, independent of consumerism, which would be most (more) rewarding. Could the urge to bond over materialism be curbed or controlled, and could our social status become something that nurtured rather than tortured us (when I see someone who had their face surgically altered, I see a tortured person who is consumed with redefining how they are seen).
So interesting the differences you describe between you and your sister.
As for dissatisfaction, remember, what happened is that a year ago I deliberately embarked on a style quest to see what I would learn about myself, whether the experience would change me, and if so how and why. Before the quest, I was blissfully ignorant. In taking on the quest, I entered into a state of anxiety because I wasn’t used to considering how I was seen. It was unsettling. I’ve learned enough at this point, have figured out a basic “uniform” that is comfortable and apparently stylish, but it is a copy of what I’ve seen other people wear. It isn’t a particularly unique uniform. I am happy with it, may always be happy with it, but I can’t help noting that it is a copy, that I formed it by imitating other people. Did I try to buy style by doing that? I don’t think so. What makes more sense to me is your idea of anonymous fashion. I have a uniform that is fairly anonymous. The signals it sends out are low key, with some playful accents. Playful makes sense because I am playful and enjoy playing with others. I don’t want to return to the blissfully ignorant me of a year ago, nor do I want be “a tortured person consumed with redefining” how I am seen. The uniform is in place, what will happen next? Perhaps the quest has reached its natural conclusion. Or, maybe this is the beginning of a new phase of understanding. Will it involve anxiety? I don’t know. What I love best about the style quest is the line of direction it provides, of daily engagement. I feel more alive, more present. I’m going to stay tuned, keep an open mind, and see what unfolds.
First answer this:
Do you know what you would choose to wear, style-wise, if you could choose anything at all to wear? What?
Now tell me why you think you cannot wear anything you want to?
Editor, visually, I would want to wear that Edwardian getup the actor Jeremy Brett wore in the Sherlock Holmes series, but the weather is too warm here for that kind of layering, and at this point in life tailored clothes don’t fit well, I prefer knits for comfort. Other than that, I’m not really sure how to answer the question, that’s part of what makes the quest fun, I’m still learning what I do and don’t like, then figuring out whether the items I like will work. I would definitely go nuts on jewelry, wear a lot more WendyB jewelry for example, if I could afford it. It turns out I love jewelry. That surprised me as I didn’t think of myself as a bejeweled person before the quest. It makes sense though, because it is a great way to add light weight, i.e., not too warm style while keeping my uniform simple. Unfortunately I’m limited in my jewelry choices because of cost. I love the simplicity of my uniform, doubt I would want to change it much even if I could. I need to win the lottery before I can wear whatever jewelry I want to :).
What an interesting post. Pictures and thoughts.
Your climate makes it possible for a greater variety of clothes to be worn. The general street scene is more colorful.
Designers bag with sneakers = not a good choice.
About your subject, the middle class in specific, I guess we all can find some features of it in us. Unfortunately. Would it not be fun to ” walk our own paths “!
Having started my own blog over 2 years ago, I have ” been talking ” about fashion more than in all my previous life before. I am not a fashion blogger, nor a fashion freak. My honest relationship to fashion is quite simple. If one has to have clothes, why not select ones, you like to look at and feel comfortable in.
Thank you for these ” snaps “.
I found the woman looking at the painting in the last pictures extra fun !!
Hi Mette, thank you for sharing your opinion about the designer bag and shoes. I see Kathy’s point about sneakers being best for long walks and not wanting to change bags but I guess it’s something I wouldn’t do myself. I don’t want to signal lack of intention or lack of caring in what I wear anymore. If never learn to communicate anything else but intention, i.e., dress similarly to others, but with intention, that will be better than what I was doing a year ago.
I think I feel the same way about fashion that you do, am still learning how to select. It does take time to develop the skills needed to make good choices.
Isn’t the lady in the bolero jacket beautiful?
Wonderful photos and thoughts, my dearest Susan.
We have the shape we are given, and after acepting it, LOl. It is a matter of loving and accessories it the best we can.
I will be thinking of you, thinking of me, yeahhhhhhhhhhh
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Dear Sacramento, yes, it is true, we can’t do anything about our shape, am trying to do my best with what I have. Thank you for visiting. xoxo
So much to digest and integrate. I love it when you write with depth! Discussions of class always interest me, and adding fashion to the mix is especially intriguing.
Hi Judith, I’m glad to hear that you enjoy discussions of class, especially looking at fashion within the context of class, one more construct that helps us see how we sort ourselves out, relate to one another. In my opinion, your sartorial practices are a form of high art. If I could do what you do I would, but I don’t have that kind of talent.
Very interesting post. I got caught up by the Frida Kahlo paintings though, more than the clothing.
I like fashion, but I approach it more the way Mette does. As for the sneakers and designer bag combo – it doesn’t really bother me. Sometimes people are taking a long walk and want to wear very comfortable shoes, or off to the gym, and don’t change their handbag.
Always glad when you have a new post. Did you buy one of Pseu’s handbags?
Isn’t that painting beautiful? I love the photo of the woman looking at it, the tension of the colors in her jacket against the color of Frida’s shawl.
As I said in my reply to Mette, I see your point about the sneakers and designer bag, but I would do this myself, not at this point, one year into the style quest. I want to communicate intention in what I wear, wouldn’t deliberately mix very casual and very high end items.
I didn’t buy one of Pseu’s bags, although they are certainly tempting. She did have the bag I did buy in a different color, but I wanted the color I selected. I can’t wait for my bag to get here!
Thank you Kathy, for reading and commenting.
You raise some very interesting questions in this post.
These days, I think that class (except perhaps upper class) is more about mindset than anything else. I live in a “working class” neighborhood and am frugal by necessity, but I think my interests, field of work, and educational background reflect more of a “middle class” mindset.
As for the sneakers– I’m guilty of wearing them more than I should! I’ve been shopping for comfortable but stylish shoes so that my outfits don’t “clash” with my footwear.
I agree with you about class mostly being a mindset. One’s actual financial situation may or may not have much to do with it.
As for sneakers, I think they’re fine, it’s just that I don’t want to mix them with high-end items, to me that signals lack of intention and I want to signal intention. It’s important to me to signal intention, because otherwise my style is “imitative.” Intention is all I’m personally bringing into my style, at the moment.
I’ve been letting the words of your post sit with me over the weekend, mulling over the concepts you brought up and pondering my own views on class and class related behaviour.
As you know I come from a country that transitioned from socialism to capitalism 20 years ago which makes me a child of the transitional regime and my own upbringing is a curious mix of both worlds along with a lot of ethnic diversity. Even socialism had classes; granted they weren’t as diverse or obvious but they existed.
In my opinion the transition to ruthless capitalism brought a lot of redistribution of wealth, a lot of consumerism and new gadgets to sample (no more denim black market) but not the cultured behaviour I associate with “old” capitalism or old money if you will. In terms of style and fashion choices we prefer quantity over quality. Cheap looking knock offs, lots of flashy stuff. It’s very sad.
My own style choices gravitate towards unique, I prefer to shop online to assure I’ll be the only one with a particular bag,… maybe it’s a reaction from being brought up in regime that emphasized uniformity…
Hi Ana, thank you for thinking about this and responding thoughtfully, I really appreciate it.
I think cultured behavior is what I have in mind, what I aspire to in my own life, and yet even that term “cultured” is loaded because who is to say what is and what is not cultured behavior? For example, if you look at an abstract painting and don’t understand it, you might ask yourself, is this art? Likewise with certain modern classical pieces. If it sounds like screeching to your ears, is that art? In each case, the painting and the music, it may be a high form of art, be received as such by the community of artists and musicians with the sort of scholarly credentials required to render criticism re: what makes it art and why.
What I try to look for in making my own judgements is evidence of intention above all, a design with integrity, made well, with the human form in mind and an eye to function.
I do sometimes look to the High WASP aesthetic, the one Lisa at Privilege writes about, for clues, points of departure, as that aesthetic was developed and refined over a long period of time. I treat it sort of like I treat the Roman Catholic catechism, literally I look up RCC moral code sometimes because Episcopalians never want to talk about anything like that and sometimes I wonder what was the original vision hammered out over hundreds of years in the old church. Take something like The Common Good, this is well defined in the catechism but nowhere else as far as I know, at least not as instructively, in terms of the responsibility of individuals.
Similarly, if I want to understand a shirt, I look for High WASP aesthetic clues or the history of men’s tailoring in Britain because that gives me the basic concepts. I may not fully know what a shirt can be at that point, but at least I know what a shirt is not.
Your story of moving from Socialism to Capitalism is intriguing. It doesn’t surprise me there were classes in the old system. There are always classes (I bet even during Mao’s Cultural Revolution there were nuanced class levels), but Capitalism makes the levels more distinct, and yup, needs consumerism to survive like we need air to breathe. I live in a Capitalist society and don’t mean to critique it as system, just observe how it works and how we behave as consumers. These days I’m interested in fashion consumption.
Fashion makes the most sense to me within the context of a personal aesthetic. I think most of the style/creative bloggers I read are in this category, not blindly consuming fashion but integrating it into their own personal style. Right now I am doing a fair amount of copying, copying with intention, yes, but still copying. It’s like a short cut way of buying style, for now, but I firmly believe true style cannot be bought.
I have to admit that now that you’ve gone to the longer, less frequent posting, I find myself caught up in the ideas you explore but without time to give them justice in my own comments. My family moved into the comfortable middle class only in my parents’ generation as was the case in my husband’s family as well. I have the utmost admiration for my grandparents who struggled through very tough times but I’m often aware of how much that need to move upward imposes behavioural and style constraints, notions of acquiring class that I find tiresome, from the fortunate position they nudged me towards. Complex. I admire very much your ability to be so analytical, playful, honest, and self-reflexive.
Thank you Mater.
I treasure your experience, your comments. And I relate to the vicissitudes involved, of family trying to move upward. Not easy.
From my perspective, your family is such a loving one. That’s what counts.
Update: I realized my comment was too bland, too short, I was very tired when I wrote it. I didn’t mean to short shrift your thoughts. I think this is what I love best about blogging, getting to hear other people’s stories. I treasure the stories, the experiences. I learn from them. As for the constraints involved in acquiring “class” I know exactly what you mean. As I wrote in reply to Ana (coffeeaddict), what I have in mind is more what I would call “cultured” behavior, understanding of course how difficult that is to define. I’m trying to build a model, have been all of my life, of personal values. I’m secure in the value I place on intellect, on learning, and the value of a spiritual life. Lifestyle is important too, but when it comes to lifestyle I’m more deliberate, tend to be a minimalist, except when entertaining friends. I didn’t have to go on a style quest, did so deliberately to see what I would learn. The process did involve some anxiety. Marking the new year, one year into the quest, I’m pausing to consider where I’m at and what happens next.
Hmmm….having rubbed elbows with the extremely wealthy (sadly none of the wealth rubbed off on me), I’d say they are very much “worried a lot about their own taste and about whether it’s working for or against them.” That is, unless they’ve gone around the bend and become completely megalomaniacs who don’t ever think of anyone else.
Fussell groups the worriers into the Middle class — not surprising very wealthy people have anxiety, it goes with the territory moving up and down in the US status system, sometimes unpredictably. Anxiety runs further up the wealth ladder than most people realize.
I love your long thoughtful posts, and I have read this post and your various links several times now, trying to come up with time to group my incoherent musings into a steady chain of thought. I may or may not have managed that. I shall probably go on too long, but I relish the ability to write some of this on your space as it would be too divisive on my own blog, where family members do check in occasionally.
I love reading Lisa’s blog and after the post you reference, I too want to read the Fussell book, although at this point, in my current status as citizen of the world, I have no home to which to mail it and no address which qualifies me for a library card. Perhaps I shall have to go roam the second-hand bookstores which luckily are plentiful in university towns, or just wait until I finally move.
I have found Lisa’s blog fascinating, not in the least because many of her points have made me think about my own upbringing and the rather mixed messages I received. My immediate family unit was solidly middle class in income, although probably upper middle in that my dad was a historian and professor, albeit tenured at a college that paid well below the median for tenured professors, and he had no trust fund or family money. The messages I rec eived from my family were far more complicated. I grew up in a small town defined by ranching/farming and the local agricultural college. My views were influenced by those around me but also by my family which was also quite mixed.
My father’s grandmother (my great-grandmother, who lived until I was 13) was definitely born into an upper class Souther family of wealth and her father and brothers were US Senators. She left home and ran away with a young banker, who had risen far above his family’s station, and of whom her family strongly disapproved. She never saw her family again in her lifetime. She and her husband started a farm in Texas and after years of struggle became fairly wealthy. Much of her value system was passed on to her children and grandchildren, although they were also formed by the wilder rules, and occasional lawlessness, of what was still to some extent the “wild” west in the early 20th century. Her daughter, my father’s mother, for whom I was named, was a classic bohemian, and although she retained many of her mother’s upper class notions of behavior, she also bucked those expectations and lead a truly interesting life that crossed many social boundaries. My father and uncle spend a lot of time living with their grandmother, who disapproved of their mother’s “unsuitable” lifestyle, and my father’s mores and beliefs were far more like his grandmother’s than his mother’s.
My mother’s family came from the opposite end of the spectrum. Her father started out as the child of Mississippi dirt farmers who died before he was 13, leaving him as the head of a family of 6 children. He went to work, send some of his younger siblings to college, and due to native intelligence and determination became fairly skilled at certain aspects of refinery building, to the extent that he was eventually flown around the world to supervise and build refineries. His wife’s father started off as a farmer, managed to work his way through medical school while his children were small, and eventually became a doctor. Despite their successes, my maternal grandparents never really escaped the mindset of their respective childhoods, and they shaped much of my mother’s attitudes as well.
In my own family, although I was taught to respect my elders and never correct or insult them, I was very aware of class differences as they were defined by behavior, expectation, consumption, and language, even though I didn’t really understand the roots or reasons behind them. I suspect now that my father was very anxious about being a “poor relation” and wanted to strive toward that class to which he felt was his right due to ancestry and his Princeton education. I never thought to ask him about all of this when he was still alive.
I was phenomenally proud of my maternal grandfather, who achieved so much in his life despite starting out with the world pretty much stacked against him. I loved him and was am still incredibly proud of all he accomplished and that he was my grandfather. In fact I adored both my grandfathers despite the sure knowledge that my father looked down on both of them (his mother’s second husband was a working class Jewish WW I veteran with rather socially unsavory connections). And I find it funny as hell that my grandmother was disowned for marrying an inappropriate person by her mother, who had been disowned by her own family for the exact same reason.
What I am saying is that all of this makes me very interested in class and anxiety. I see a lot of social anxiety around me, although I see more in the middle and upper middle classes, and yes, I have known some phenomenally wealthy people who are also riddled with anxiety. I am also interested in style, and although I do think there are class related aspects of clothing choices and style, I also think that the boundaries are blurring somewhat, and it is much harder to determine class by style, unless, of course you are already in on the subtle clues. Oddly enough, like Editor, I too have gone back to myself after years of drift, although I my clothing choices are closer to the kind of style I dreamt of when I was 10 to 13, had I had a choice in my clothing choices at that time. I was interested in clothes and style then also, and liked to design outfits and make things, although I was discouraged from this for the dual reasons that girls of my class did not sew or design clothes for others, and it was irrelevant as I didn’t have either the looks or the style to pull of an interest in clothes. Now I really don’t care what other people think.
As to the sneakers and designer bag, it depends on the bag and the outfit. I personally wouldn’t wear that bag with sneakers, but it is probably a choice intentionally made by the wearer who is dealing with her own social anxiety issues. I suspect most of us are pretty much happiest living with some degree of social ignorance about what signals we may be sending.
And I love your photos and astute comments. I love the bolero jacket also.
Dear Mardel, what a pleasure to read your thoughtful reply, the story of your family. It’s like a dream come true for me writing about my own story and getting to hear other people’s stories. I will keep reading what you said about your family, mull it over in my mind, but one thought that occurs to me now is the US familiar story of a family that has acquired some structure and status over time losing younger members fleeing that very structure and status. Sometimes there are regrets later in life. Rebellion isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.
Family judgements about “appropriateness” in selecting life partners can be so harsh, so class reinforcing. I think part of what makes class difficult in the US is the reinforcing that goes on in families and social groups. I sometimes felt smothered. Daring to change was treated like an act of snobbery. The message was clear that I ought to have stayed in my place but I’m so glad I didn’t.
I see a blurring of class boundaries in general in the US, not just when it comes to style, but the “messages” and the anxieties are still out there. As a financial consultant, I saw the dark underbelly these anxieties, the consequences of over-consumption, and it was bleak. I found it ironic that the one value I most associate with the High WASP culture, that of carefully managing finances, living frugally and saving, is the first thing Middle Class persons chuck out the window striving for “success.” The only people I know who share my exact financial values are my two adult children and their father. He was Jewish. I always tell young women, if you want to learn about finances, have a financially secure future, marry a Jew. I even joked with my daughter about that. She identifies as a Jew (I was Jewish — converted — when we raised her) and thinks it’s funny because she’s marrying a Roman Catholic. Actually he’s the fourth person I know who has my exact financial values.
I can’t talk to most people I know about money. They think I’m crazy. A fanatic.
2012 will be an interesting year. I’m happy with my “uniform” and hate spending money so it could be there won’t be much more to talk about except that I do have quite a bit of fabric and intend to get back to sewing.
Thank you so much for writing!
Dear Susan,
my breath gasps when I visit this posting (I have been visiting it a few times already). My heart pounds. Could it be you wrote one of the best postings of the year 2012 in the first weeks of january?
I really love this posting and recommended it today on my blog.
The way you took the photos and described what you saw …
I am still reading Fussell and it occupies me, but in a good way!
An no doubt: those anxieties are very, very familiar to me.
I love to dress up whenever I travel, pure middle class.
What I might still need though is a book that assures me there is NOTHING wrong with being middle class and remaining there for the rest of our lives.
sorry I can’t comment a longer comment, I am exhausted after the first day at work after a longer sick-leave and a quick posting on my own.
I just want to let you know how much I enjoy to get to know your thought.
xoxo
Paula
Thank you Paula, it means a lot to me that the post got you thinking, reading Fussell, thinking about being Middle Class. I really like to laugh at myself but hope everyone realizes I’m not laughing at anyone else. Of course there is nothing wrong with being Middle Class! There’s also nothing wrong with Upper Class or being Proles. We are what we are. It’s just helpful I think to understand how we organize ourselves and why, and to think about being gentle not only with ourselves but with other people who may be struggling with class identity or wishing to change their class mindset or in some cases economic status. It’s all ok. It’s part of our social landscape, worth understanding, finding our comfortable place and making peace with ourselves and others. There are upsides and downsides to all of the class levels, anxiety being a downside for Middles.
I’ve got to focus on preparing a dinner party but will pop over to say hi on your blog, thank you so much for the mention.
Susan, I see anxiety now in a broader context!
It was actually maven who told me about Fussell, over at Lisa’s comments-section. I would love to go further into details, about the things I notice around me. All those perceptions of others are so closs to offenses I rather not say too much. I also think Fussell was right to give the TV importance, because to me, that’s where culture and style is lost in an instant -the moment the TV is on while the familiy has dinner.
I guess I want to pick the upsides of every class: greetings the waiters in the restaurant and having a chat about their vacation and family (proles), no TV in the living room (or actually any room in the apartment) (upper class), LV and recognisable designer jewellery (middle class). :-)
Paula, that’s so funny, that’s the same thing I do, pick and choose the best, what I love from every class or class “culture” because it makes life more enjoyable. I don’t think of the observations of what we do as being offenses, it’s only natural to judge for yourself what you want to do and not do in your own life. Some of it is not in our control, for example if your income is severely limited your choices will be too, but your mind is free no matter how much money you make. You can always choose how to behave.
Susan, I am so honored by the way you read and pay attention to what I write. Mardel too. I feel unworthy, actually. I would answer your post in depth, but that’s sort of a large part of my blog:). So let me just address your style quest. I think it’s been lovely to see. You look so much happier in photos now, and more comfortable and younger. So while it may have started out as a style quest, I believe you’ve found something else.
I think your bag will be perfect. And think that will not be the end of this quest. It’s a rich one. Happy to have met you.
Lisa, I wish you didn’t feel unworthy, you ought not to, and I’m disappointed not to have your thoughts but understand that’s what you write about your blog, so that’s fine. The quest has definitely lead to some interesting and positive outcomes, and I hope it’s not over because it’s been fun. I’m happy to have met you too and really can’t wait for the bag to get here!
I’ve always thought that folks who were snobby were insecure.
It makes me feel secure to know that someone else thinks that way too :)
Yes!
I agree!!
Hi Susan
Great post here!! Thank you so much for referencing my thesis, I’m very flattered!
I think almost everyone has a part of them that wants to conform and a part of them that wants to be an individual, as Simmel explains in his short work “On Fashion”. I think in the West, we have more of a propensity to conceive and portray ourselves as individuals; in the East, there is more of a will to conform (generally, and this is kind of a stereotype so this is certainly not the case with everyone).
I like your analysis of how the middle class seems to have the most social anxiety, and I just watched a super interesting documentary about social equality and the anxiety that it creates with the idea of status: http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/status-anxiety/
I think an innate part of human nature is to seek status (or perhaps it is more of a modern invention, but I can’t imagine a world without the concept of “status”). I think everyone wants to feel like they belong, but I think people who are a bit more personally developed and comfortable in their own skins don’t need this affirmation from the rest of society… They get affirmation of their own value from themselves. I think this self-affirmation in everyone would move us collectively more towards utopia, as we don’t have to worry about things like status and what everyone else thinks about us. This leads to nasty stuff, so if we are simply comfortable with ourselves and wear what we like, then we can all be happy. I know this sounds a bit naive and impossible, but I’m an idealist and hope that this is the way the world will go.
There will always be conspicuous consumption as long as there are ideas like taste arbitration, status, imitation, etc. No one can be blamed for being in this state of consumption, as it is a progression and takes time to reach a point where you no longer need other peoples’ affirmation… Some people may never get there, but as we are all inherently individuals, I think we have the potential to all approve of ourselves and thus not need anyone else’s approval. Of course it’s nice to be approved by others, but it causes a lot of unnecessary anxiety as you pointed out.
Take a look at that documentary, it’s super interesting and applicable! And if you want to share parts of my thesis on your blog, I’d be honored :)
All the best
Timothy
Timothy, I’m glad you enjoyed the post thank you for your thoughtful reply. I agree with you! The documentary looks fascinating, I started watching it but have to stop for now, will catch up with it later today.
I just stumbled here by accident. Maybe I’m not old enough, or affluent enough, but I really don’t understand why you are putting so much energy into fretting over your personal “style.” Just wear what you find comfortable in, in a variety of situations, that flatters your figure. It’s really quite simple. At least it is for me.
Hi Calichef, Ha! I think I would be confused too if I stumbled onto this one post written a year into my personal style quest! The background is explained here, but in a nutshell, I was not dressing appropriately or in a way that flatters me, and I started the quest to figure out why. I’ve enjoyed the quest, have learned a lot. Thank you for your visit and comment.